blog hiatus

I know I have not updated in a little while. I don’t know what is wrong with me (okay, I keep an alphabetical, color-coded, emotionally and meta-emotionally categorized list somewhere – but I am not sharing). That is part of the problem. I have a lot going on right now inside my head (feign shock people….) and I feel like if I keep force feeding all of you my thoughts, emotions, tangies and down-right craziness, I will loose you as my readers and my RLF. Let’s face it, I can only handle me for so long – how long will you be able to put up with me in Real life and in this blog? I am afraid of over saturation. I guess if I had readers that weren’t people I saw everyday ( I know I have one-ish that is not) it would be different. I know you are supposed to blog for yourself…yadda yadda yadda.

We all just need a little break. I need it to decide how to refocus my priorities & get the ‘energy’ back to even want to write. I will be back (mainly because I am pathetic and I need your love and admiration). This is just a short hiatus so you don’t get over-mused. Ha! Like you haven’t already. Sorry, but I think it might be too late ladies….I am in your system now. You want to stop – you are afraid the crazies just might catch. But something is drawing you to this blog, like a slow acting drug…you have become addicted. Pretty soon, you will find yourself…

Jonesin’ for the Muse

Warning: Borning fat rantings ahead….

I have hit bottom…again. NO, it didn’t involve Pringles this time, but it was still scary to all those who had to witness it (just poor hubbie-who by the way says he will help by getting fat so I don’t look as big. Geeze.Thanks.So.F-ing.Helpful!). So, another whinysob melt down. I don’t know why I just can’t get my act together and lose weight. I am revoltingly repulsive. I can’t change my face or my crappy hair or my scars, but gosh darn it – I can change my weight. Yet, I continue to get bigger. I actually asked my neighbor last night if she would chase me with a gun, down the street in the mornings, so I could run. Problem is, I would know she wasn’t really going to kill me, so I would end up walking.

My calories and stuff never come out looking right on the blog, so I am following Stabby to the www.mycaloriecounter.com. My name is Museilicious on the site. Maybe pretty charts and bar graphs will help. That or I will go in for some kind of lap band surgery. Seriously. I am desperate.

come hither

I am wearing incredibly sexy, mesh granny panties lined with gauze.

You know you want me!

If this does not say ” come, make a baby with me”, I just don’t know what else will.

I am also posted one pic in black and white – becasue that makes it sexier, right?

Damn, I can’t believe I just posted those.

NORMAL

I am back, a little endometriosis (all by my left tube and ureter – pee problems?), but otherwise Normal is all the doc kept saying. He obviously was not looking at my brain, but hey – the insides look normal. Lefty is definitely deviated and needs a GPS unit to find but that is from the car accident/scoliosis or just a funny nature joke – no serious disease or anything.

So, we will hope cauterizing the small amount of endometriosis that was there will help and be back on our way, trying to get to baby town soon.

That means it is time to really step-it up in the diet and excersize program here. I would also like to take some time this week to pretty up the blog. Write and about page, etc, etc. Just in case others decided to stop by and stay for awhile.

Since it as been so hot and sticky here, the Sox have not been out walking. I need to continue walking and so does the pupsters – but that can be done early AM or late PM or maybe the treadmill. The walking Sox are now considering turning into YogaSox.

Well, that is all for now, sorry so boring here. Mainly I am trying not to itch myself. Damn, I am so ladylike.

party in my uterus!

Dear we-swear-not-broken Muse,

You have been scheduled for a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, cautery of endometriosis and chromotubation with ethiodol on 6/6/08 at we-fix-women-right hospital.

Please follow this instructions:

1. Do not eat or drink after midnight, this includes water.

2. Do not sleep, as we are sure you will be pacing ( I am actually not nervous though, weird)

3. Please take high level of hormones, weep at everything, annoy all co-workers and hubbie as much as possible the day before surgery (today).

orgy of words

It is official! We (apparently I harbor multiple people inside my head…that or it is the whole we-team mentality) have a new reader! Everyone say HI to ericas (previously mentioned in this blog as QueenB). I feel loved and wanted. Whoo-hoo. Go me!!! Now, everyone go read her comment under (not-so) squeaky clean.

…and we’re back (hey, you didn’t read the comment!). It is 5:00 AM and I have not gone to bed yet. I am so, so excited about a new reader that I actually squealed (yes, like a pig) when I saw that she left a comment. Damn, I am so easily bought by the limelight.

I feel…

• fat, uccky and wrinkled
• broken
• proud to have awesome friends, hubbie and animals
• very lucky to have all the advantages in life I have/had
• sad I squandered so many of said advantage

• a little uneasy that I am ‘going under the knife’ on Friday for who-knows-what. You think the one having the procedure should get to know what they are doing – but hey, they don’t know either

• somehow still serene that I am going under the knife on Friday, even if we are not sure what one will find. I personally think I have gold hidden up there and will be rich at the end of Friday. Whoo-hoo!

• I know after I am back on my feet next week – I will be back, full speed on kicking the ADIPOSE TISSUE outta my body! Yes, I have said this before. Yet, I have new found strength people – don’t question it. Roll with, hop on board the fitness train you know you want to join!

• I have to pee…..that is all.

(not-so) squeaky clean

I don’t turn the lights on above the shower. I never really used to do this anyways. Technically, I don’t even turn on the lights in the main bathroom when I take a bath. I turn one of the closet lights on, so just a tiny bit of light comes through. You know, just enough to see the possible outline of an object in the bathtub, kinda.

However, when in the shower or I need to shave – I turn on the main light most of the time (or at least both closet lights!). Just not above the shower. That would be gross. So, I shower with very little light. This is the only way I can do things. Don’t make me break into the whinnysobs discussing this. Just leave it as fact. Me, shower, very little light. Mostly with my eyes closed (as in 97.3% of the time). I kid you not.

30-ish going on 85

So, in the morning, my back decided to do it’s little spine tango. It dips just fine, it just doesn’t like to come back up. My back brace didn’t really work. Mainly because no amount of duct tape or Velcro was going to help make that thing fit my now ginormous waist. I tried different things to make it fit but if I moved, or you know, tried to breathe it would come popping open.

Trying not to cry ( as in break down in hysterics and search the house for the new fat-burning craze; Pringles), I put on my happy face and waddled into the car with Miss Butterfly (A Stabby offshoot). After dropping her off, I proceeded to work. At some point my back straighten a little bit and my hump became a little less noticeable. YEAH BABY! LESS HUMP!

One in a million

Yep that’s me. According to Ska anyways. No, not because I am an awesome wife or anything sickenly-sweet like that, but because of two TV shows that I watch (neither of which the hubbie partakes in and also does not appreciate it when I try to discuss the finer points of either show with him).

Mr. Hubbie said he could not think of anyone else who would watch both of these shows. Maybe 1 out of 200 people, if that. He said he is pretty sure their normal audiences are nearly “mutually exclusive of each other”. He is probably right.