It is official! We (apparently I harbor multiple people inside my head…that or it is the whole we-team mentality) have a new reader! Everyone say HI to ericas (previously mentioned in this blog as QueenB). I feel loved and wanted. Whoo-hoo. Go me!!! Now, everyone go read her comment under (not-so) squeaky clean.
…and we’re back (hey, you didn’t read the comment!). It is 5:00 AM and I have not gone to bed yet. I am so, so excited about a new reader that I actually squealed (yes, like a pig) when I saw that she left a comment. Damn, I am so easily bought by the limelight.
So, now that I have a taste of this limelight (because three people reading my blog = limelight in my world!), I want more! MUUWWHAAAAAAA!! So, if you know of anybody who has, is or will be going through any of these scenarios, the main topics of my blog, please send them to my way:
A. Mass quantities of people have/will be up their uterus; having oil changes, dusting for
cobwebs, scaling off debris & rust (these people will be known to you as infertiles – or bitter women who live in a secret world, which means you may know one but not know one…that makes senses, right?).
B. You know some fat bitchers- no,not someone who is fat and bitchy – oh, wait, yes those people too- but, I originally was referring to someone who bitches about fat but does not really making any progress (yet, damn you! I may be a procrastinator and an underachiever..,but, but…crap I got nothing) on getting rid of it.
C. Is just plain crazy, has random thoughts (tangies in Muse world), never seems to complete a sentence, requires multiple parenthesis, asterisks and dashes to complete a thought (in others words, never, never in a linear fashion. We frown upon that here in Museland.
THERE IS ONE STIPULATION in the “please, please, send your friends my way – I am desperate for affection” plea. That is, my wonderful, dear, sweet, Real Life Friends (RLFs – cause I am that cool). If you tell them who I am (name, rank, SS# – why do you have my social security number???) I will:
1. I will send all of my fat to your ass
2. steal your eggs (not from the fridge weirdos- your ovaries, ’cause that is
a much saner idea, of course.)
3. I WILL HAVE MY MOM MOVE IN WITH YOU!
Yeah, that’s right, The Muse Punishment Trifecta.
After all, I might tell perfect strangers my life story; verbally,explicitly and lengthily, but when it is in print, it is sacred.
Did I mention the insanity and the fact that it is 5 AM and no sleeping? Giving the grand total this week: 4 ish hours. Not bad by old standards but, just not cool anymore. I don’t know if it is the surgery, salary issues at work, no MonaVie (so, so, sad- can’t take for a couple days before surgery), my weirdo ass disease, cyclic bunnies or whatnot bunnies, but it is poopy.
Well, I am off to be incredibly productive (also known as watch TV, zombie like & protect the animals from the scary, scary storm).
Hasta, my mass quantity of readerettes!
GOOD GOD!!! I will send everyone I know to read your freaking blog, just keep your mother away! LMFAO!!!